Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Funny Fortune Cookie Sayings

Happy Fortune Cookie Day! Here's a few sayings to get your Wednesday off on the right foot. Enjoy! 
  • He who throws dirt is losing ground. 
  • You can always find happiness at work on Friday.
  • Let’s just say that the cookie is going to be the better part of the “fortune cookie.
  • Do not mistake temptation for opportunity.
  • The greatest danger could be your stupidity.
  • The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
  • Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
  • Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
  • He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.
  • He who laughs last is laughing at you.
  • A closed mouth gathers no feet.
  • A cynic is only a frustrated optimist.
  • A fanatic is one who can't change his mind, and won't change the subject.
  • You seek to find meaning from a little slip of paper inside a little cookie. You are gullible.
  • The world may be your oyster, but it doesn't mean you'll get its pearl.
  • Pick another cookie
  • You are surrounded by fortune hunters
  • You will receive a fortune cookie.
  • Water is your friend. It will help you wash down your fortune cookie.
  • Your fortune cookie will taste suspiciously like an ice cream cone without the ice cream
  • Opps… wrong cookie
  • Disregard this cookie
  • Only listen to future cookies
  • The road to riches is paved with homework
  • Help!!! I am being held hostage in a Chinese bakery
  • The fortune you seek is in another cookie
  • Man who run behind car get exhausted.
  • Some fortune cookies hold no fortune
  • Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life
  • Today is probably a huge improvement over yesterday
  • Don’t play leap frog with a unicorn
  • He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
  • You will receive a fortune (cookie)
  • You will be hungry again in one hour
  • Don’t eat Chinese food today
  • That wasn’t chicken
  • Fortune not found? Abort, Retry, Ignore
  • It’s about time I got out of that cookie
  • Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
  • Don’t fry bacon in the nude.
  • A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
  • From the same people holding the prisoner?
  • Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back
  • Your colon will self destruct in five seconds.
  • A recent prison escapee that is sitting nearby wants to love you long time.
  • Please don't eat me.
  • Only a fool would look to a cookie for words of wisdom.
  • See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies.
  • You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes.
  • Don’t kiss an elephant on the lips today
  • Never trouble trouble till trouble trouble’s you
  • WARNING! Do not eat your fortune.
  • Come back later. I need a nap. Yes, fortune cookies sleep.
  • No fortune for you.
  • Better to Press Shirt than Press Luck
  • Confuscius say " Man who fart in church sit in own pew"
  • You are the crunchy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life
  • Watch out for the brown bear and the gray donkey. One will claw you while the other will make an ass out of yourself.
(Article courtesy of Sayings Plus)

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Chocolate Fudge Protein Shake

Happy Chocolate Milkshake Day! Here's another recipe for you! Enjoy!

  • 1 cup milk of choice 
  • 2 tsp Dutch cocoa powder 
  • 1 tbsp chocolate protein powder of choice 
  • 1 overripe frozen banana
  • 1/16 tsp salt 
  • 1/4 tsp pure vanilla extract 
  • optional sweetener  
  • optional 1-2 tbsp nut butter of choice 
Directions: Blend all ingredients—either with a hand blender or in a blender or Vitamix—until completely smooth. Serve chilled. (Serves: 1)

(Recipe and photo courtesy of Chocolate Covered Katie)

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Sunday morning...

Thoughts, prayers, and love going out to everyone in Hurricane Irma's path. Please stay safe!

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Calling all writers!

If you're searching for an agent or editor to pitch your story to, then you really need to check out #PitMad, which is taking place today on Twitter! Click HERE to read the rules and regulations and get those tweets posted! Good luck to all who enter!

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